Bringing up Bébé - Book Review

Bringing up Bébé is American journalist Pamela Druckerman's observation and analysis of French parenting. The book includes a fair amount of backstory and tracks her migration to France, her relationship with her husband (though he remains a fairly vague presence in the book) and the births of their 3 children as they form their family in Paris. It is the story of her conscious integration of French ways into her parenting and her mid-Atlantic critique of 'American' approaches to child rearing.

Waldorf Links: I can't help but wonder if some of the what is presented as 'the French' way of parenting may be European and may have infused into Waldorf education before it was transplanted into our corner of North America because lots of what Druckerman has to say will sound familiar to Waldorf parents.

Druckerman sees French parents helping their children to:
- develop patience and learn to wait
- cope with frustration
- play alone
- defer gratification /wait for the marshmellow
- enjoy a great variety of high quality and healthy foods

She finds French parents and care givers value, and are attuned to, the rhythms and individuality of their child. There is a high value placed on a predictable schedule and a respectful division between child and adult worlds.  Sounding familiar?

Druckerman explains the French 'cadre' as an approach with clear expectations and limits within which children enjoy a great deal of freedom.  Don't we all want to know where we stand and have agency within clear boundaries?

Without being overly academic she traces what she thinks might be some of the historic roots to the way the French parent, refers to studies, quotes experts she interviewed (she is a journalist) and anchors it all in her observations and stories. She is self depreciating enough to make the book an enjoyable and funnier-than-I-expected book. There is no real parental guilt residue after reading this book, which is nice.

I was interested to see some reviews of this book (NY Times) seem to respond almost viscerally to her discussion of the French health care system and other social benefit and indicators such as  better maternal and infant mortality rates, well funded maternity leave and publicly subsidized childcare. I was surprised by how often she noticed aspects of socially funded health care and commented on them as enablers of what she sees as a better way to parent.  This book might be about the socialization of an American.

Maybe I am shallow but I sometimes enjoy reading stories of other people's struggles, somehow it doesn't feel so lonely on the frontlines of unsuccessful efforts to get out the door in the morning etc.  Without being prescriptive there are some ideas and approaches in this book that are worth trying out.... my children are about to experience my attempt at the control tactic of "les gros yeux".

9 Essential Skills Kids Should Learn

Over at ZenHabits Leo Babauta, whose children are 'unschooled', believes the 9 Essential Skills Kids Should Learn are:

1. Asking questions
2. Solving problems
3. Tackling projects
4. Finding passion
5. Independence
6. Being happy on their own
7. Compassion
8. Tolerance
9. Dealing with change

He believes that we cannot predict what the future has in store for our children and that it is foolish and wasteful to educate them in preparation for what we think they will need. In high school the computer geeks sat by their lockers filling out bubble cards - who could have predicted all of this?

I agree that we need to teach our children to learn and allow them to love learning and follow their natural curiosity, to trust them to learn.  We need to give them tools knowing that we cannot even begin to imagine how they will apply them.

I am not sure whether this list is complete or exactly what I would have written, but it is close enough for me to hold it up to what my children are learning and make see what I think. I am pleased and confident that they are learning these skills, and more!

“Our highest endeavor must be to develop free human beings who are able of themselves to impart purpose and direction to their lives. The need for imagination, a sense of truth, and a feeling of responsibility—these three forces are the very nerve of education.” 
― Rudolf Steiner

more high school, Island Oak, Vancouver Island

   

You know you are a Waldorf parent when....

• your son comes home and chastises you for "never making kale chips"
• your daughter wants to give a friend brie for a birthday present
• your daughter receives seaweed as a birthday present
• the highlighter you have at work is a wooden pencil that came from Life Without Plastic
• your lunch box collection includes - plastic bento lunch boxes, metal bento lunch boxes, handmade fabric fliptop lunch baggies, travelling chopsticks, titanium sporks and more metal water bottles than a sports team should have
• your kids wear a hat outside without even thinking about it
• the most important factor in getting dressed in the morning is the weather check
• your fronthall looks like a photo shoot for MEC
• you know exactly what is meant by 'gifts from nature' and 'rainbow bridge'
• your daughter wants to been seen in the yard wearing her violin on her back - as a symbol of being a really 'big kid' in the yard
• you have purchased freshly butchered chickens, fresh vegetables, native perennials, samosas, eggs, handspun wool, honey and fair-trade coffee from people in the school community, at school
• you feel a sense of relief when your children ask if they can stay at the school forever, or until high school anyway

Imagination

Is Active Play Extinct?

"Play comes in many forms, but it is generally freely chosen, spontaneous, self-directed and fun. The 2012 Active Healthy Kids Canada Report Card on Physical Activity for Children and Youth reports that Canadian children and youth are not playing enough; assigning an “F” grade for Active Play and Leisure. Forty-six per cent of Canadian kids are getting a mere three hours or less of active play per week, including weekends. Additionally, kids spend 63 per cent of their free time after school and on weekends being sedentary. "  The report also says that children are getting more than 7 hours a day of screen time!!

read more here

May Fair is this weekend!

One day not too long ago, I had occasion to go back to the school after the children had all gone home and the yard was empty - or so i thought. I happened upon the teachers in the yard having their own little May Fair and I grabbed a few moments of the magic with my phone.

I have written about May Fair before and this video includes images from years past.

See you on Saturday!